The Elasticity of Time: What Parental Leave Taught Me About Life’s Speed

When I was on parental leave, it felt as if life hit the pause button. The days were long, every giggle and coo from my newborn seemed to echo in slow motion, and each experience was a meaningful memory waiting to be stored. Contrast this with my return to work, where time seemed to speed up, racing through days and weeks. “How was your summer?” I asked my colleagues, only to hear the common refrain: “You know, same old, busy.”

It’s intriguing how our perception of time can fluctuate so dramatically, and as it turns out, the science of our brain function offers some compelling insights into why this happens.

Our brains are not just problem-solving devices; they are the architects of our reality. Every interaction we have with the world is filtered through this intricate organ, which also shapes how we feel about our experiences. But with a constant stream of incoming information, our brain has a tough job to do. It must selectively store the most impactful events while allowing us to navigate our daily tasks without being overwhelmed by a backlog of memories. How does it manage this?

In essence, the brain chooses to focus on events that are novel and emotionally significant, while relegating routine activities to a sort of “autopilot” mode. When we engage in monotonous routines—whether it’s getting dressed, making coffee, or driving to work—our brains skip the task of forming detailed memories, preserving mental energy for more essential matters.

This efficiency, though convenient, has a downside: it diminishes our perception of time. When we’re on autopilot, we create fewer vivid memories, leading entire chapters of our lives to blend together into vague, indistinct blocks. “The baby-raising years,” “my 25-year career at XYZ Corp.,” or “the time I lived in a particular city” often become compressed periods in our recollections, devoid of intricate detail.

However, periods of significant change, brimming with ‘firsts’ and new learnings, have the opposite effect. These are the stretches of time we remember as vibrant and long-lasting. Think of your years in school, where everything was a discovery and each day held the potential for something new. Our brains, hungry for novelty, meticulously stored those memories, making that era seem longer and more alive.

If approached correctly, early retirement can serve as the perfect antidote to the autopilot mode that compresses our perception of time. Rather than falling into the hypnotic rhythm of a 9-to-5 job that you could do with your eyes closed, early retirement provides the opportunity to constantly venture into the new and unknown. This phase of life becomes an arena for experimentation, optimization, and yes, even failure—all of which serve as rich material for our brains to capture and store. In doing so, you not only make your days feel longer and more fulfilling but also exercise your cognitive faculties in a way that standard routines seldom allow.

So, in retiring early, you’re not just gaining years; you’re also making those additional years feel longer. It can also literally add years to your life. Freed from the constraints of a cubicle, you have more time to be physically active, whether it’s walking, biking, or engaging in any exercise that you love. No longer needing to grab a quick lunch at the office allows you the time to prepare a fresh salad packed with nutrients. Both of these contribute to a longer, healthier life, but more on that in a future article .